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When Writing is Easy

October 17, 2022 By danabowmancreative Leave a Comment

Have you ever written something, and it just sort of poured out, like cool water from a spigot? And when it was all done you were able to read it back and think, “Yes! This is exactly right? What fun this was!”?

No? Me neither.

But – I have had brief and very lovely writing experiences that were sort of spigoty. And sometimes they ended with an “Almost there!” and didn’t feel like I was trying to wring out my brain a bit tighter every time I tapped a letter on the keyboard. And, after I was done writing I felt happy, and proud, almost as if some editor somewhere was looking down at me fondly, saying:

“That’ll DO, Dana. That’ll do.”
(For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, it’s ok. I didn’t really plan on a Babe reference in this piece, and yes I do release I am the pig in this scenario. #goals).

I wrote something that flowed right out of me once, and it won an award. To be honest? The award was really nice, but the experience of writing that thing? Worth so much more.

There has to be, on this troublesome planet, some sort of synchronous moment in our work, our writing, that equals a big deep breath. We need those moments, and if we don’t get them, we wither. So once in a while, God says, “Thou shall go forth write and it shallent make your brain feel like cottage cheese after” or some such, and lo it was good.

The article was from months ago, folks. This is not a recent thing, or a big thing. I was just thinking of it tonight as I was washing the dishes and looking out my kitchen window and noticing all the dirt on the screen. Our kitchen window overlooks a weed ravaged bit of earth and the side of our neighbor’s house, and it’s always bugged me. As far as kitchen windows go, mine is a solid C- and as a total over-achiever and A+ kinda girl my whole life, a C- is really pretty ucky.

So, for some reason, as I was cleaning and staring, I started to think about that article. And then I thought, “I’d like to write about that – to remind us all that water spigot moments did happen, and they DO happen, and they will happen again. We all get them, even in the midst of grimy windows and endless adulting and life’s tricky ability to make us forget.

This is your daily #spigotreminder to not give up.

Also, what does your kitchen window look out on?

And yes, I did end that sentence with a preposition but it’s my blog and I can do what I want. It sounds really twatty to say “out on which you look” or some such, unless your name is Miranda and you’re gazing out the kitchen window out onto the moors and waiting for your husband, Phillip, to return from the war. Which sounds very nice, visually, for Miranda, but also tough on her mental health. In conclusion? Window views are a tradeoff.

This photo was taken on a trip I made in 2011 to Ireland. I took this in Adare which is a little village just west of Limerick on the west side on Ireland. It was a charming little place with many buildings with these thatched roofs.

Filed Under: creativity, depression and anxiety, mental health, sober mom, sobriety, wellness, women in recovery, writing Tagged With: writing

Tiny Brave.

September 26, 2022 By danabowmancreative Leave a Comment

Do you ever feel like you live a life squished down? A small life? A dusty one?

Ever feel like you don’t make a difference?

YEA ME NEITHER. I TOTALLY MAKE A DIFFERENCE. I AM AMAZING AND SO ARE YOU.

I’ve decided to stop questioning my contributions. I make a difference. And so do you. We get up each day, and we do the thing. And then we do some of it again, and again… We tweak some parts and mess up on others… And then we proceed to do it all over the next day. It is Sisyphus. It is numbing. It is monumental. And it is hard.

It is the bravest contribution ever: The Continued Doing of Life.

(Also: I kind of feel that as a fifty year old woman just existing in this world is Big Time Bravery).

I went on a run this morning and felt energized and exhausted, all at the same time. I felt invincible and Iron Womanish, and then headed to my coffee shop where I tripped over a non-existent something on the floor and totally wiped out. There, I started an article about my faith, and immediately felt imposter syndrome about my lack of faith.

It’s very likely I’ll eat something healthy and all green and crunchy for lunch, but then later I’ll scarf Reese’s because I know my husband bought some and HE HID THEM IN THE HOUSE. (Game on, husband).

Bravery is not one big long Hallelujah Chorus of awesome. At least, not in my case. I just can’t maintain it for that long. I can do bravery in short bursts and then breathe a lot after, inhaling and exhaling through the regular goofy and pain of Dana (also paired with fear, lack of confidence, comparison, sadness… all the icky stuff because human Dana).

Bravery works well on an instagram post. Or a tiktok. It’s cinematic and it’s sexy but it, like sex, it should REALLY NOT go on and on and ON. I mean… that would be… well you know what I mean.

So, take my word for it. We are brave every day. It might be tiny brave, but it counts. Tiny brave counts. It really does!

Finally, to really drive home the fickleness of bravery: Here is a pic of my new glasses. They were a brave choice. I love them, but the guy at Target said, “Cool glasses. You look like Jeffrey Dahmer.” So, you know. Truly, not really the vibe I was going for but #itiswhatitis

Filed Under: creativity, depression and anxiety, mental health, recovery, sober mom, sobriety, wellness, women in recovery, writing Tagged With: aging, am writing, be brave, book proposal, brave, bravery, getting creative, getting older, menopause, morning motivation, morning run, running, writing, writing community

Kittens and fudge and wifi.

July 25, 2022 By danabowmancreative 1 Comment

I’m writing this from the fourth coffeehouse in two days. Also there was boba tea in there at some point and a really good burger.

I’m on a writer’s retreat, ya’ll. Sustenance.

There has also been fudge. But only purchased, not consumed. Yet.

Oh and some frozen lemonade thing that really didn’t seem all that lemonadey. I need my lemonade to smack me in the mouth with its tartness. This one just sort of booped me in the nose. It’s ok, lemonade. You be you.

But Dana, you ask. When are you actually writing?

IN BETWEEN, SILLY.

On this retreat I have:

  1. Had a very serious talk with my Calendar. We got eye to eye and I said things like, “Ok, Calendar. Cut it out. I’m in charge. I AM. You’re not the boss of me.
  2. Added about 6 more things to Calendar.
  3. Wrote a blog post and a newsletter.
  4. Finally finished the book synopsis I talk about here.
  5. Worked on chapters 1 and 2. All the while there was a constant soundtrack in my head to the tune of: “What Do You Think You’re Doing, Dana, You Total Fakezoid.” It has a snazzy beat.

I want you to realize, dear reader, that imposter’s syndrome is very common. I think I could seriously win a Pulitzer and I would still be all “It was probably a fluke and someone out there by the name of Dana Bawman is really ticked off that I stole her Pulitzer.”

But here is what I learned while I was here:

  1. Coffeeshops regularly chose really interesting music. I am currently listening to showtunes in Japanese. Thanks Reverie Coffee for the culture. Also, you make a lemon cream croissant that is to die for.
yes my love.

2. If I listened to all the voices in my head I would be home making a blanket fort with my cats and as great as that sounds one cannot achieve your highest potential when that is ALL that you do. Don’t come at me, cats.

3. People are really nice. While here, I have had recommendations for food, walking paths, books, and the best burger. People are interested in what I’m writing and they are all about encouragement. People are just amazing.

4. I will never be as cool as a barista.

Don’t allow your inner voice to shut you down. If it keeps telling you all sorts of negative things? That’s not an inner voice. That’s an inner a$$hole. This sounds really weird and ew and like something from a David Cronenberg movie and I hate his movies.

David, if you’re reading my blog, I’m sorry.

(spoiler alert he’s not reading it)

I will have to say, though: if blanket forts with your cat are your thing? Do it. It does sound kinda cool.

In conclusion, I leave you with a whole heck of a lot of writing yet to do, but also this video of fudge. You’re welcome.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/MtnRDPPGw-0

Filed Under: creativity, mental health, recovery, Uncategorized, writing Tagged With: am writing, book proposal, coffee, foodie, sober travel, solo travel, solo writers retreat, writers retreat, writing

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