Dana Bowman Creative

Writer Mama

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Y’all. I planned to get caught up on my writing projects today.

(*UPDATE: WATCH This IS YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS POST AND HOW IT MADE ME CRY. Click bait? Yes. True? Also yes.)

But… the best laid plans of mice and moms is that they often get sickie and need endless drinks and blankets and temp checks and toast with the crusts cut off and sprite with a straw… and so on.

My son got strep. And so did I. And so it goes.

I have found that a lot of times when I use phrases like, “And THIS week I’m going to get ALL my writing deadlines finished!” or “THIS time I’m REALLY going to WRITE ALL AFTERNOON!” that the universe snort-laughs. (**UPDATE: It did, in fact, snort-laugh).

But!! There is good news! In fact, there is a whole LIST of goodness. So here goes:

Dana’s List of Writing Life Goodness Even When I Am Stressed Out:

1. I love my writing and speaking life. It’s on my own schedule, with my own projects, and my own creative “push” in the directions I choose. I am grateful that I have the endless list of projects and deadlines and such. I am grateful that I can call this profession my very own. I need to remind myself, sometimes, that about ten years ago I would have NEVER visualized this life of mine, a Writing Life, being … me.

2. I have a sick kid and I can stay home and care for him.

3. I am sick and I can stay home and care for me.

4. Writing is something you can do in the prone position. *weakly mutters ‘yeaaaaa.’*

5. Nobody’s gonna die. I play the “nobody’s gonna die” game a lot. It a simple way to remind myself that my writing is not ever a catalyst for saving the world. Like, it COULD be one day, but not today. And for that, I am grateful. If I ever did, actually, have to write a blog post to save lives I want you to know, though, that I am ready for it. I am prepared. But today? No lives were lost. #writetoliveanotherday

You know what? I really like to hunker down in that place of stress – that whole “I’m so busy and there’s SO much to do and let’s run in a few circles first because I feel a bit more at home when I’m running around it full of stress and drama” vibe. Pretty much all day, in my head, my arms are waving about in the air in a “MAYDAY!! SOS!!! RUN AWAYYYY!” kind of zone. Only in my head, though. If I walked around and did that, people would be put off. I mean, you can’t just walk into the coffee shop and start shouting “ICEBERG STRAIGHT AHEAD!!!” Like I said, it’s off-putting.

So, I’m going to write this, and post it, and go about my day.

***(UPDATE. SO… SHE DID NOT POST AND SHE DID NOT GO ABOUT HER DAY. BWAA HA HAAAAA).

But, before I go, could I ask a favor? Would you consider sharing this post with a stressed out mom today? Would you share with a fellow creative that’s gotten lost in the weeds? Or, would you travel over to my newsletter and consider subscribing? My book proposal is still in the oh-so fun waiting zone, and one thing that would help is a bigger platform. This would be such a help.

Also, my newsletter is good! I like it, and I kinda hate newsletters! I am picky about them. In MY newsletter it you will get:
3 Helps: Links and sources to curated creative goodness, served à la carte.
2 Habits: Researched skills for optimizing creative productivity – in the workplace, at home, and with your own creative goals.
1 Hope: A quick dollop of humor and inspiration, free of charge.

ZERO CARBS, FOLKS.

As one who actually adores loves carbs and considers them a complete meal, I would still ask: Consider subscribing! Or passing the newsletter along to someone who would benefit from some productivity and creative inspo.

Click the button to receive Pie and Coffee! And thank you my sweet friends. You have no idea how grateful I am for you. You are the bees’ knees.

Yes I love pie. 🙂

And if you’d like to copy the link to send the signup along to a friend? Well, here you go: Pie and Coffee newsletter signup

I love you my sweet, sweet, SWEET readers. Until next time:

#eatdessertfirst

Dana

Grieving a Career

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So, just so you know, I still miss Steve.

But also? I have also been grieving my career lately, but that’s not nearly as tangible as missing a large, white, purring behemoth of love. However, I figured out, just this morning, that for me the two are kind of connected.

Let me explain.

Here is a quick recap of Dana’s writing life: It actually became a career and then also turned into a speaking thing, and then Covid changed everything, and I decided to leave my publisher, and now… I did stand-up and am occasionally writing articles AND I FINALLY FINISHED THE PROPOSAL, DESPITE MY BRAIN.

Which, in writer-speak means this:

So, none of this seems… grieve-y. Right? These are all good things! These are natural progressions of a writing life! It’s not a big deal!!

But there is some real sadness there too. It feels an awful lot grief. And fear. Mixed together.

So… grear?

You get the idea.

I know I tend to bring Steve into all the things these days, but it’s my blog and I can do what I want. Here’s the deal: I cannot, honestly, see a life without Steve. I realize that makes it sound like he was just my everything and more ‘wind beneath my wingsy’ stuff, but that’s not really what I mean (although it’s up for debate). What I mean is: He provided comfort. Routine. He was ever-present. He was just… with me. He was a comfort-cat. My family? Yes, they are my comfort people and I love them MORE than STEVE, ok? But they also come with needing things and questions and confrontation and talking (so much talking) and with Steve? There was no ask. Just furry being.

And an occasional catnip fix. He wasn’t purrfect.

Come to find out, I kind of regarded my writing success the same way. I had a publisher approach me for my books, for pete’s sake. No agent. Just total pot-o-gold rainbow writing stuff. And The TODAY show CAME TO MY HOUSE (this was not pot-o-gold really it was more like pot-o-anxiety but you know).

And now? I am sending my proposal forth, and starting a whole new blog, and doing STAND UP which is so NOT what I ever ever saw coming. Folks, I realllllly like to see things coming. I plan all the things. I make lists FOR my lists. When I die, Jesus and I are going to have a coffee-date at Kingdom Depot, mainly in the aisle with all the cute planners and washi tape. And yes, that means I am going to PLAN heaven. Don’t judge me.

Along with all the creative new things, there came this uneasy feeling of sadness. I should have expected it, I guess. My new stuff was not offering up the comfort and validation of what I knew before. I’m not even writing the same genre anymore. I’m attempting fiction instead of memoir, which, of course, has a huge learning curve. And this sadness glommed onto all sorts of looming questions: How am I going to manage this? What if it doesn’t work? What if nobody cares?

What if I fail?

That’s a lot of looming.

Because of this, I have mini meltdowns, and I just long for easy. Or to just quit and follow a career path in interpretive dance.

I grieve it.

What does one do with all this? Well, the next logical step for me was to yell at myself. This grief thing? It seems so ungrateful. And negative. And just dumb. Just CARRY ON, Dana.

Yea. Yelling at me to be less me doesn’t work either.

What does work? I lean into story and write a blog post about what I’m feeling. And then hope that it connects with someone. This process is called “Help I’m Sad and Maybe You Have Felt This Way Too-itiveness?” and it has an 97% success rate. I know enough from my 12 step meetings that when we share the grief (however big or small) it helps. So thanks for helping me grieve a bit today, and then hit “publish” and then… go off and do some new things and carry on.

Oh, and also? Did you notice that for me grieving sent me back to my old pattern of blogging? I hadn’t blogged for ages, (I see you, Momsie) and when all this new comfort-zone blasting occured, I thought: “Huh. Maybe I should blog again.” And it has helped. SO much. So, maybe grief is helped by leaning on past things to balance out the future things. Like, when my brother died and I took his old stand-mixer, and anytime I use it I think of him? That kinda thing.

Does this kind of career-grief make sense to you? Or life-change grief? I keep thinking this is sort of what it was like when I got married and moved across the state. It was wonderful. A whole new life with my sweet babboo.

But there was actually some grief there too for my old life, ya know?

Thanks for listening my friends. If you are inclined – share, share away. And keep a lookout for the Pie and Coffee newsletter, where I give specific tips on how to navigate career grief.

Also, would you please consider sharing my newsletter or blog with someone who might need to hear it? There’s all sorts of folks out there who are dealing with stucked-ness (again, super technical term) who might benefit from a creative reset. I would be forever grateful.

And now, keep calm and create on.